The Written Word

It's so easy for me to read the Bible. I can read the words, see them there on the page in black and white, and then walk away. It doesn't sink in. Instead, it looks like one of these:

• Hmmm, that's nice. Now I'd better get those dishes done and the laundry folded . . . where'd I put my cell phone?
• Hey, so-and-so could really use this verse today. I can so see how that would apply to their lives. They should really look into that. 

And it's not enough. It's not enough for me to let that slide. It's not enough to read it and then walk away. I need to know it. I need to use it. I need to live it. And so, I need a way I can make it my own.

I've been reading the book Life Unhindered by Jennifer Kennedy Dean. In chapter six, she references Romans 7:14-17, the ever-famous passage by Apostle Paul where he basically 'fesses up to what amounts to a disciple-ish face palm. "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Romans 7:15) Yep, I can relate to that, and God knew that when He inspired Paul to write it. I think if Paul was me, a 30-something busy homeschooling mom of two with a full-time business, two dogs, one cat, a huge garden (you get the idea), this passage may have sounded something like this:

I don't know what's wrong with me. I know God's laws are good and that I'm supposed to follow them. It's not like they're just arbitrary guidelines and requirements - God knows what He's doing and what's best for me. But I just can't swing it. I'm so full of selfishness and pride and laziness and discontent and everything that drags me down and holds me back. I just can't muster it up. 

Oh, I try. I have such good intentions. I start the day with great expectations. "I won't get impatient," I vow. "I'll keep my focus right. I'll serve God and love my neighbor and pray and read my Bible. I won't lose my cool with my kids or complain about all the shoes cluttering up the porch. I won't waste time on Facebook or beat myself up for not looking like I did when I was younger." 

Five minutes later I realize I'm on a rant about dirty socks on the floor next to the laundry hamper while shoving cookies in my face. It's like I'm completely incapable of doing anything but exactly what I said I wouldn't. What is going on in my head? Who let the evil, grumpy Christa out? Oh wait, that was me . . . 

But there's hope! Thank God! Through Him all things are possible. THROUGH Him. Not me. He's my only hope.

Writing Scripture - either word for word or in Christa-paraphrase - is very cathartic for me. It forces me to really focus in. It gives me that time, not to just skim, but to stop and consider how His word wants to change my life.And it will, if I let it. If I let go of the easy and the fast.

I would love to hear from you. What helps you focus in on God's word? Do you copy scripture? Journal? Write music? (Yeah, I tried that once, thinking it would be awesome. Turns out that's not my spiritual gift. Yikes! It would have put chanting monks to sleep. Seriously.)